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Chaos at Varsity Cheerleader Tryouts

(Words in ALL CAPS were provided by the fans at Facebook.com/SusanMallery during a game of MalleryLib. Join the fun!)

Tom the Goofy GiraffeYesterday, hundreds of SLIPPERY, PERFECT teen girls showed up at the field behind the Fool’s Gold High School for Varsity Cheerleader tryouts, but things didn’t go as planned. In the announcement letter that was sent to all students, the cheerleading coaches meant to tell the kids to bring an idea for the school’s mascot, since Fool’s Gold doesn’t have a mascot yet. Instead, the letter told the kids to “bring an animal for the school’s mascot.” So hundreds of girls showed up with hundreds of CAMELS, TIGERS, CATS, and countless other creatures.

A COLORFUL 16-year-old named LAUREN brought her family pet, TOM, a GOOFY GIRAFFE with a GARDEN, who FAINTED into the locker room before the tryouts even began. A dozen HOT girls RAN DRINKING out of the locker room like TRIPPINGLY BIG BOOKS. TOM looked LOVING as he SWAM around several WHITE TIGERS that were SKYDIVING in the stands.

“No, TOM,” shouted pretty sophomore MATHEW, JUMPING ABSOLUTELY, as the GIRAFFE tried to RIDE her BALLPARK. LAUREN pulled her SILKY pet away and tied him to a goal post, where he SKIPPED with FEARFULNESS.

In the stands, a handful of JUICY, PLAYFUL boys who had come to watch pretty girls doing cheerleading routines got more than they bargained for as they were chased out of the stadium by two DOGS and a HORSE who wanted the boys’ AIRPLANE. The HAPPIEST, a boy named JASON, won’t be SWINGING again very QUICKLY, at least, not until his BEDROOM and COFFEESHOP recover.

Despite the chaos, the tryouts continued. The women and girls of Fool’s Gold are too STEAMY to let a few minor setbacks keep them down. The girls RACED like pros. The Varsity Cheerleading squad will be announced on July 15.

Please post a comment below. What do you think would be a good mascot for Fool’s Gold High? Why?  

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